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December 11, 2018

My Newfound Approach to Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem has plagued me throughout my life. I don’t generally talk about personal feelings but I’ve recently discovered something (an epiphany) that is worth sharing with you. I’ll preface this by saying, my life has never been “tough” by any means. God has blessed me with a balanced life, filled with love from others around me. I had a fun childhood and my college years were kind of amazing. But despite all of this, I often felt my confidence and self-esteem wasn’t where it should be; as a result, I became incredibly hard on myself. I’ve always been one to push beyond my limits and try to do it all. And therein lies my mistake.

I’ve begun to realize that mistakes, failures and setbacks are not only a beautiful part of life, but they are excellent opportunities to learn and grow from. I quickly understood that if my main goal is to do everything perfectly, especially in my new role as a mother, anything short of that will feel like a failure. But on the contrary—if I account and acknowledge the missteps, I can actually better myself without feeling low about myself.

Now having become a mother, I think about this a lot in terms of raising Kinza. How should I deliver praise without it being something she depends on? How do I teach her that falling down and getting up is actually, perfectly normal and encouraged? Thinking about things from this point of view has opened my eyes and mind a little more, it’s helped me understand my own self-worth and how it shouldn’t depend on solely accomplishments. So here’s to acknowledging our mistakes and not letting them define us. And as we celebrate the holidays and ring in the new year, let’s opt to treat ourselves with the grace and kindness we deserve.

Motherhood & Reflection

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